Struggling with an Emotional Child

Where to start? We always knew something was different about our son, Lincoln. From a very early age he was MORE - more sensitive, more energetic, more dramatic, more everything. We had him tested for autism, but that wasn't it. He started school at age 5 and had a great year in kindergarten. His teacher was the perfect fit. But at home he continued to be incredibly frustrating to his dad and me. He would not listen. He would throw tantrums like a two year old. He would push and push and push us for everything he wanted. Sometimes we were strong and other times we were weak. I was a pushover and my hubby was a typical cop (aka hard ass). Over the years we have both moved to the middle.

Fast forward to Lincoln's first grade year. It was horrible. His teacher was abrasive and rude and managed to ruin his love of school within the first 9 weeks. We had meeting after meeting and not much changed. We pulled him out of that school and enrolled him in a private church school. His teacher was a sweetheart who loved on him and made him feel special. Something to note - Lincoln is BRILLIANT. I'm not just a proud mama here folks. He is off the charts brilliant in reading, writing, and art. Course having an English teacher for a mom doesn't hurt. However, Lincoln continued to struggle with his issues - pulling his shirt up under his neck over 100 times a day, twisting his hair, constantly sucking his upper lip, having fits about his clothes not fitting right (socks with seams are the worst for him). Poor guy! He also struggled with making friends. He didn't make a single friend at the new school.

So in the spring we filled out all the forms and so did his teacher. He was diagnosed with ADHD and started Ritalin. It helped him focus at school, but he still had all the issues. In early July we took him to the developmental pediatrician who diagnosed him with a sensory processing/integration disorder and anxiety. He also started him on a medication called Intuniv for his anxiety and ADHD. It supposedly takes 6-8 weeks to kick in. We have not seen any effects yet. The doctor had a great way of explaining the sensory issues. He said that it's like Lincoln has his nerves hanging on the OUTSIDE of his body and that everything around him bothers him. He is not trying to be disobedient (some of the time), it is simply his disorder. Of course I still believe in 100% tough parenting. Remember I said he is wicked smart. He is great at manipulating the situation and blaming everything on the disorder.

We have read so many books trying to help Lincoln - The Strong Willed Child and Raising Your Spirited Child were two that really struck us as 100% right on when describing Lincoln. Anyone out there have any other good suggestions? I'd love to hear them.

Therapy - Lincoln and I are both in therapy. Hoping that will help. We've only been twice, so let's keep our fingers crossed.

My Juicing Journey

Hey folks! I haven't touched this blog since 2008. Guess you could say I've been a little busy. I've started a new blog about my juicing and new healthy eating plan (DIET is a 4 letter word!)...so come on over to http://devonsjuicingjourney.blogspot.com

Hair-Tastrophe! The Haircut from Hell.

Well, it's the night before our trip to Florida and I can't sleep. I decided to pass the sleepless hours by sharing a crappy thing that happened to me today - I call it the Hair-Tastrophe. All I wanted was a simple haircut - a trim - just an inch off the back. Enter Sophia at the Hair Cuttery - BEEOCH!

I should have known from the start that Sophia, queen of bullshit, was about to ruin my appearance and my self image as we know it. After asking me what kind of hair cut I wanted (which I am 1000% positive she didn't understand - yes, she is NOT from here, go figure), she asked me what my favorite color was. Yellow, I replied. Light yellow or dark yellow, she asked. Light yellow. Oh, I see, I see (said in a thick asian accent). That mean you have lot of love. Whatever! You see, Sophia "studies" color psychology. She went on to tell me to beware of people who love the color white. They are apparently very picky people who can never be pleased or trusted. Green lovers are outgoing, take charge people. Fans of blue are good at business. Purple people are creative. And red...sexual, she whispered in my ear.

A simple trim of my all-one-length hair, soon turned into a freaking chop session. What color did I represent after she was finished butchering my hair??? BLACK! Let's see, what color would you associate "pissed off beyond all control"? Hmmm...you've seen the trash on the Jerry Springer show. You know, the women who kick each other's asses while ripping out their Jheri curl (had to look up the spelling) from the root. Yeah, that was me. You see, Sophia started cutting LAYERS without my permission. Hacking away at my hair like the Lawnmower of Death. No, more like Stevie Wonder left alone with a lawnmower. (Sorry Stevie, love your music.) Then her little white high heel wearing self picked up another "tool", scissors with little holes. Before I knew it she was THINNING my already thin, wimpy hair. Everyone knows I have very fine, thin hair AND not to mention that it is falling out after giving birth (it happened after Lincoln and I had a bald spot in the front of my head for months).

I started crying. Instead of comforting me, Oh mam, I am so sorry. You don't like? NO, Sophia had to start arguing with me. The nerve! Can you imagine if a customer of yours started crying??? Now, here is the part of the show I don't like to admit to...this is NOT the first time this has happened to me. I am a total sucker when it comes to having my hair cut. They say, you can see your scalp in the back, you need some "texture". This should be a hint to me "They are about to chop your hair to shreds!!!" Why don't I ever stop them??? This time, I tried to stick up for myself (something I suck at). I asked to see the manager. Sophia told me NO! The only other people in the salon were two other asian women who didn't speak English. At that point I should have walked out, but no, my weak ass paid her - although I didn't leave a tip! So there!

Now I have a semi mullet. All kinds of little layers from the crown to my newly cut bangs (UGH!) with a few long hairs left in the back. Oh My Gosh! I am still livid. This will take months to fix. Months of hiding my hair in a small, thin little ponytail (you know, the kind little 2 year olds have). Can't really even get my hair into a ponytail, but I'm going to try.

Husband - the sweetheart - actually went to Hair Cuttery after hearing me cry to my sister and mom. He spoke to the manager and she is going to give us our money back. Too bad she can't give me my hair back, damn it.

It will grow. That's the good news. As for my love of yellow...Sophia was right. I do have a lot of love. Hubby went to bat for me, and Lincoln said "Mommy pretty" - I taught him that yesterday and he likes repeating it (on command, of course).

Bath Time with Lincoln

Bath time is always so fun at our house, especially since both boys take a bath together now! We can't wait til Carter can sit up by himself so that the boys are not crammed in the little blue baby bath! Last night we made a couple videos to share with you! The first one is Lincoln showing off his ABC skills. I am so proud of him!



This second video is Lincoln saying hi to his favorite people. "Bare" with us for the first 20 seconds or so while he plays with his little friend. The good stuff comes later in the video.

4 Spoons, 3 Cookies, 2 Cars, and a Partridge...

You know how little kids carry around a comfort object? Some kids call it a lovey, a cuddly, a wubbie, a blankey, etc. That's because most kids only carry ONE object with them wherever they go. Now, on the other hand, you have Mr. Lincoln. It all began right around the time we took away his pacifier (another thing that gets weird little pet names like passy or nook). Below is exhibit A: all of Lincoln's "comfort objects".



First, Lincoln contracted the Spoon Disease. It's not fatal or contagious, but it does have some weird side effects. His love for cutlery is an all-day affair. From the time he wakes up to the time he goes to sleep, he must have at least one spoon with him at all times. He takes them from room to room. He takes them in the car. He takes them to daycare. He even takes them in the pool. When he takes them to the park, they get to ride down the slide and swing in the swings.

Next, he picked up the mysterious "Man Hat" syndrome. This one is very rare and has the potential to be deadly (i.e. the man's very sharp pointy nose). Grandma is to blame...yeah, let's blame her. She purchased these adorable dive sticks for Lincoln's baths. You are supposed to throw them into the pool and dive down to retrieve them. Lincoln loves them. There is a yellow (wea-wo) octopus, a green turtle, a pink crab, and a blue penguin wearing a hat. The penguin soon became known as "Man Hat". Man Hat travelled from the bath into the bedroom and now goes wherever Lincoln goes.

After Man Hat came Boy Hat, a little rubbery Fisher Price boy wearing a yellow plaid hat. Lincoln contracted this from daycare and hasn't given it back. Boy Hat ends up on the floor a lot post tantrums.

The latest sickness, I mean addiction, I mean "addition" was a piece from Lincoln's transportation "zip-po" (puzzle) - a green car. The green car ailment is totally benign and comes and goes with random frequency. Other ailments in this family are the ambulance, helicopter, motorcycle, and train, but they have not attacked Lincoln's cells yet.

The Book Bug also frequents our house. Lincoln must carry at least one book with him along with spoons, Man Hat, Boy Hat, green car, and several "cookie letters". These cookie letters are organic (oh, how not me) cookies with letters on them and Cookie Monster on the box. Lincoln demands them every morning and a few stow-aways end up riding with us to daycare.




The funniest thing about Lincoln's "comfort object" thingy, for lack of a better term, is when he tries to carry all of these items at the same time. You would think it would be impossible, but somehow he manages to stuff all these objects under his armpits and in his hands. I will try to get a better picture of this, but at this time Lincoln is not too keen on the paparazzi!



Also, for your viewing pleasure - check out this little video I made on Sunday morning. I am so proud of myself for learning how to upload on you tube! Email me and let me know if you can get it to load! My dad couldn't get it to load on his new iphone!


Gotta do diaper duty! Wait, how did Man Hat get in there?

Bert and Ernie: Friends or Lovers?

While watching Sesame Street with Lincoln the other day something dawned on me…something that never occurred to me as a kid…are Bert and Ernie gay or simply good friends? They sleep in the same bedroom, although in separate little twin beds. They are always together, although you never see Bert in the bathtub playing with Ernie’s rubber ducky. They are always arguing – Bert is the uptight turtleneck-wearing one and Ernie is happy-go-lucky – but then they always seem to make up before bed. Hmmm…I began to wonder. Then I saw an episode that just about clinched the quandary. Bert was out of town at a pigeon convention and Ernie was very sad and lonely. He was singing a song about how he could not go to bed without Bert by his side. I think I even remember him saying, “Come back to me, Bert”.

Now Sesame Street is very diverse. As you know, they always make sure to have every ethnic group represented - an asian kid, an african american kid, a hispanic kid. The adults are diverse too - Bob is white, Luis and Maria are hispanic, and Gordon and Susan are black. Linda is deaf and has a guide dog named Barkley. Bob has a deaf niece too. Tara is a little girl in a wheelchair with brittle bone disease. Even the muppets are diverse - there is a green muppet, a purple muppet, a blue muppet, etc. It makes perfect sense to have gay muppets too, right?

So, what do you think? Are Ernie and Bert headed to California to get married? I just thought I would send this question out into the universe tonight. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has pondered this subject…or am I? Guess I need more adult stimulation!!

After my blog...I researched this topic online and found out that many people have pondered this question before. The Children's Television Workshop had to issue this 1993 press release: "Bert and Ernie, who've been on Sesame Street for 25 years, do not portray a gay couple, and there are no plans for them to do so in the future. They are puppets, not humans. Like all the Muppets created for Sesame Street, they were designed to help educate preschoolers. Bert and Ernie are characters who help demonstrate to children that despite their differences, they can be good friends."

Joe Who?

It was so cute...last night Lincoln and I were saying his prayers together the way we end each day. First we sing a little song:

Thank you, Jesus
Thank you, Jesus
For this day
For this day
For my many blessings
For my many blessings
Amen
Amen

Lincoln always helps with the last word of each line. He says "Jeez" for Jesus, loves to shout out "DAY!" and calls blessings "sings". Then I prompt him by saying, "God bless..." and he replies "DADDY!" at the top of his lungs (directly into my ear). Daddy is followed by "Baby Audrey", a baby at daycare. Then I say, "and baby..." "CARTER!" he says. He always forgets to say Mommy, but I remind him. Then he moves onto the grandparents. PopPop is a favorite, followed by Gran and Grandma. I prompt again, "and Grandpa..." "TONY!" he says with enthusiasm, and "CC!" another one of his favorite words.

Now usually CC is followed by Aunt Lauren, and "CANDI!" and finally "Milder" for his cousin Miller. But last night, after CC, Lincoln added a new family member...Joe. Who the heck is Joe?? There is no Joe at daycare. There is no Joe in our family. There isn't even a Joe on TV, except for Little Joe in VeggieTales "The Ballad of Little Joe", but he hasn't watched that one in months. Hmmm....ok, God bless Joe!

Later that night, my husband and I were sitting on the couch recounting the day, and he told me about the funniest thing. He said he has been teaching Lincoln to say "Hey Joe!" in the car every day on the way to daycare. You see, my husband is not so good with names. All this time he thought our daycare lady's husband's name was Joe. It's actually John...not so hard to remember considering his step dad's name is John and Lincoln's middle name is John. I cracked up! So that is where Lincoln got the name Joe.

On another note, we have reached the point of needing to watch our potty mouths! Lincoln now repeats everything! Last night before the whole prayer thing, I was getting ready to put the kids in the tub when Carter threw up all down my leg. My reaction was to say "Oh shit!" to which Lincoln repeated "Oh shit!" Guess when I say my prayers I need to ask first for forgiveness for my language, and second for help in those "Oh shit" moments. What else could I have said when warm spit up was spilling down my leg? I know, I'll repeat after Sister Mary David back at St. Cecilia, who when we were being bad would repeat quietly to herself, "God bless the children". Yeah, ok! Hey, I'll work on it.

P.S. If your name isn't on Lincoln's list of prayers, I apologize! We can only prolong bedtime for so long, people! :)