Hair-Tastrophe! The Haircut from Hell.

Well, it's the night before our trip to Florida and I can't sleep. I decided to pass the sleepless hours by sharing a crappy thing that happened to me today - I call it the Hair-Tastrophe. All I wanted was a simple haircut - a trim - just an inch off the back. Enter Sophia at the Hair Cuttery - BEEOCH!

I should have known from the start that Sophia, queen of bullshit, was about to ruin my appearance and my self image as we know it. After asking me what kind of hair cut I wanted (which I am 1000% positive she didn't understand - yes, she is NOT from here, go figure), she asked me what my favorite color was. Yellow, I replied. Light yellow or dark yellow, she asked. Light yellow. Oh, I see, I see (said in a thick asian accent). That mean you have lot of love. Whatever! You see, Sophia "studies" color psychology. She went on to tell me to beware of people who love the color white. They are apparently very picky people who can never be pleased or trusted. Green lovers are outgoing, take charge people. Fans of blue are good at business. Purple people are creative. And red...sexual, she whispered in my ear.

A simple trim of my all-one-length hair, soon turned into a freaking chop session. What color did I represent after she was finished butchering my hair??? BLACK! Let's see, what color would you associate "pissed off beyond all control"? Hmmm...you've seen the trash on the Jerry Springer show. You know, the women who kick each other's asses while ripping out their Jheri curl (had to look up the spelling) from the root. Yeah, that was me. You see, Sophia started cutting LAYERS without my permission. Hacking away at my hair like the Lawnmower of Death. No, more like Stevie Wonder left alone with a lawnmower. (Sorry Stevie, love your music.) Then her little white high heel wearing self picked up another "tool", scissors with little holes. Before I knew it she was THINNING my already thin, wimpy hair. Everyone knows I have very fine, thin hair AND not to mention that it is falling out after giving birth (it happened after Lincoln and I had a bald spot in the front of my head for months).

I started crying. Instead of comforting me, Oh mam, I am so sorry. You don't like? NO, Sophia had to start arguing with me. The nerve! Can you imagine if a customer of yours started crying??? Now, here is the part of the show I don't like to admit to...this is NOT the first time this has happened to me. I am a total sucker when it comes to having my hair cut. They say, you can see your scalp in the back, you need some "texture". This should be a hint to me "They are about to chop your hair to shreds!!!" Why don't I ever stop them??? This time, I tried to stick up for myself (something I suck at). I asked to see the manager. Sophia told me NO! The only other people in the salon were two other asian women who didn't speak English. At that point I should have walked out, but no, my weak ass paid her - although I didn't leave a tip! So there!

Now I have a semi mullet. All kinds of little layers from the crown to my newly cut bangs (UGH!) with a few long hairs left in the back. Oh My Gosh! I am still livid. This will take months to fix. Months of hiding my hair in a small, thin little ponytail (you know, the kind little 2 year olds have). Can't really even get my hair into a ponytail, but I'm going to try.

Husband - the sweetheart - actually went to Hair Cuttery after hearing me cry to my sister and mom. He spoke to the manager and she is going to give us our money back. Too bad she can't give me my hair back, damn it.

It will grow. That's the good news. As for my love of yellow...Sophia was right. I do have a lot of love. Hubby went to bat for me, and Lincoln said "Mommy pretty" - I taught him that yesterday and he likes repeating it (on command, of course).